Top Ten Baddies

2005-09-29T12:42:00.000Z

1 - Darth Vadar, Lord of the Sith

Base - The large capital super-star destroyer Executor.
Mission - To generally spread the evil Empire.
Distinguishing features - Black full-body specially cooled camomile and lavendar burns suit and helmet with concert hall echo effect.
Lackeys - The entire Imperial forces.
Nemesis - Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa's Rebellion.
Ultimately defeated by - His love for his own son.
Baddy rating - 9/10

2 - Emperor Ming the Merciless

Base - Imperial Palace on planet Mongo.
Mission - Likes being merciless and evil, plays with planets for fun.
Distinguishing features - Oriental style garb and cool goatee beard.
Lackeys - His Imperial Guard.
Nemesis - Flash Gordon.
Ultimately defeated by - Flash Gordon and some kick ass inspirational music.
Baddy rating - 8.5/10

3 - Count Dracula
Base - Dark and Broody castle deep in Transylvania.
Mission - To turn virgins into bloodsuckers and generally get off.
Distinguishing features - Ray Reardon hair, sharp pointy teeth and flowing black mantle.
Lackeys - The week willed.
Nemesis - Van Helsing.
Ultimately defeated by - His feelings for one woman, and a pointy stick.
Baddy rating - 8/10

4 - Saruman the Wise
Base - Wizard's Magical Dark Tower Orthanc at Isengard.
Mission - To be the biggest baddest wizard around.
Distinguishing features - Typical wizard's flowing white beard and gown.
Lackeys - Army of Orcs, familiars and spies, and Grima Wormtongue.
Nemesis - Gandalf the Grey/White.
Ultimately defeated by - Some trees.
Baddy rating - 8/10

5 - Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Base - Hollowed out volcanic pacific island c/w monorail, sliding steel doors and ecsape capsule for one.
Mission - To rule the world and rid it of governments.
Distinguishing features - Facial scar and and a fluffy white cat lap warmer.
Lackeys - The non-union jump-suited workers of SPECTRE.
Nemesis - Bond James Bond.
Ultimately defeated by - His own greed and Bond James Bond.
Baddy rating - 8/10

6 - Servalan
Base - EarthDome
Mission - To spread the power of the Federation, to kill Blake and his fledgling rebellion.
Distinguishing features - Wears ballgowns and heels on field missions and likes fur.
Lackeys - Federation troops. Travis.
Nemesis - Blake and chums. (Count them!)
Ultimately defeated by - Aliens from outside the Galaxy.
Baddy rating - 7.5/10

7 - Davros
Base - Military compound, planet Skaro.
Mission - To spread Dalek power throughout the Galaxy.
Distinguishing features - Ugly as sin and is bound to his special chair.
Lackeys - The Daleks.
Nemesis - The Doctor.
Ultimately defeated by - The Doctor and uneven floors.
Baddy rating - 7.5/10

8 - Baron Silas Greenback

Base - Underground bunker complex.
Mission - Generic evil doing and anti-government activities.
Distinguishing features - Is a toad and has a fluffy white caterpillar lap warmer, Nero
Lackeys - Stilletto Mafioso and LeatherHead.
Nemesis - Danger Mouse, the greatest secret agent in the world.
Ultimately defeated by - ***Still at large!***
Baddy rating - 7/10

9 - Zoltar
Base - His own capital war ship.
Mission - To enslave Earth and steal its resources for Spectra.
Distinguishing features - Wears a striking red and blue skin-tight catsuit, cape and evil mask.
Lackeys - The forces of Spectra.
Nemesis - G-Force (The Gatchaman)
Ultimately defeated by - The Joint Earth Defence Force and the Gatchaman.
Baddy rating - 7/10

10 - Dick Dastardly
Base - An aircraft hanger.
Mission - To stop that bloody pigeon.
Distinguishing features - Flying helmet and permanent pissed off expresion.
Lackeys - The dolts from Vulture Squadron, Mutley, Klunk and Zilly.
Nemesis - Yankee Doodle Pigeon.
Ultimately defeated by - That bloody Pigeon and the ineptitude of Vulture Squadron.
Baddy rating - 6.5/10

Greatest War Films

2005-05-15T22:53:00.000Z

Well, Channel Four have just aired their 100 Greatest War Films as voted for by the viewers; with The Great Escape at No 3, Apocolypse Now No 2, and at No 1, can't really be argued with, Saving Private Ryan.

Ok so it may be an obvious choice for No 1, being quite recent, and a lot of people don't like it because of it being just another 'Hanks and Spielberg' popular vehicle, but those criticism miss the point and the heart of the film. First, the method of shooting was inspired. Spielberg's fast shutters give a staccato effect, adding a true realism and sharp edges to explosions and dynamic movement on the screen. Added to the Oscar winning sound (apparantly achieved by shooting live rounds into slabs of beef) this had real Normandy veterans invited to pre-release screenings in tears and leaving the cinema shaken, declaring that Spielberg had got it right, the Veterans saw and heard Omaha beach again.

Here are my own Top Ten War Movies;
1 - Zulu
2 - Apocolypse Now
3 - A Bridge Too Far
4 - Full Metal Jacket
5 - Where Eagles Dare
6 - Saving Private Ryan
7 - Kelly's Heroes
8 - Dr Strangelove
9 - Spartacus
10 - Hell in the Pacific

Count von Schmell's 10s

Top Ten Baddies

Greatest War Films